How can I get my in-laws to listen about how I want to raise my baby?

My husband is supposed to watch our baby three days a week when I am working during the day. Often times, he is unable because of his work, so he calls up his mother (who lives about 10 minutes away) to babysit. I love his family to death and think the WORLD of them, but I have made suggestions about how I would like things done and they have ignored me. For example, I have told them because I am feeding, I don't want to give my baby a pacifier. And honestly, most of the time, she won't even take it (she's not a big fan of the paci) and yet, they force it on her (they shove it into her mouth and she will be screaming and they hold it there until she has no choice but to suck on it...and then she will spit it out after a few minutes). I have taken the pacifiers away but I keep finding new ones everywhere. Apparently, they got offended and lectured me about my "behavior". They feel that if we are going to ask them to babysit, they should be allowed to do things their way. I am so confused. I know giving a paci isn't a big deal, but that's not the point. I don't know what to do. They are stuck on doing things the way they want, whether or not I agree. Granted, if my baby was in daycare, I am sure I wouldn't get everything my way either. I am torn and I need some advice. I love my inlaws and I love my baby. Any advice?